The Blog of Heidelberr Farms
Random Musings, Observations, and What-nots
The Most Beautiful Alpaca in the World
INTRO AND WARNINGS Warnings: This blog post deals with thematic elements including, but in no way limited to, alpacas, sex, nuns and the awkward feelings that result when all three are combined. MEETING DULZURA This is the story of two alpacas. It’s an old story, but a good story. You might have heard it before. Or at the very least, it should sound familiar. It’s got all of the proper elements of a compelling narrative. There’s a beautiful heroine that wants something but another something stands in her way. There’s a love interest. There’s a love triangle. There’s a mentor and a journey. There’s rejection and absolution. Will there be a happy ending? You have to keep reading to find out because that’s what makes it a story. I first met Dulzura in 2005-2006 where she lived at White Violet Farms, a USDA certified organic farm operated as a ministry by the Sisters of Divine Providence at Saint Mary-of-the-Woods, Indiana. When I made the decision to go forward with raising alpacas, I felt that the most important thing was first finding a good mentor and only then find the alpacas. I’ve never once doubted that decision. Good mentors are important to the story. Ask Luke Skywalker. Having found my Obi Wan Kenobi, I then narrowed down my selection to two bred females who would be the foundation of my herd. On the surface, they shared many qualities: both were strong in character and will. Both were experienced mothers. Both were healthy and passed those qualities on to their offspring. Both had buttery soft fleece. Both had impressive lineage with...
Why I Raise Alpacas
When I first started writing this post, it was still -10 degrees outside. So naturally, this is the perfect motivation for asking myself why on earth DO I raise alpacas? Why on earth am I putting myself through this?! This is as much of a reminder to myself as it is education for you, my friend! If you ask 100 alpaca farmers why they got into alpacas, I guarantee that you will get 120 different responses and each of them will be completely valid. When striving for a goal, it is important–whether you are considering bringing alpacas onto your farm or you are looking to go back to school–to follow Simon Sinek’s advice and “know your why”. Know Your Why My why goes all the way back to childhood. Simply put, I was always going to raise something. There was never any doubt about that. If you would have asked 5 year old Leslie what that something would have been she would have said “horsies”. And guess what? Forty-something year old Leslie still wants horsies. Really bad. But forty-something Leslie has just a little more wisdom and restraint than five year old Leslie. And forty-something Leslie has also learned to research. The Importance of Research Now that we’ve brought up the subject of research, let’s take a closer look at what drew me to alpacas. In short, I had a list of needs and wants and I was looking for an animal to bring to my farm that would be a good fit for experience level and my property. I can’t stress the importance of this. You must research your...
Surviving Your Rooster’s First Mid-Life Crisis
Hey there. I know. I get it. It’s been a while. The thing is that I’ve been fighting this post for months. I won’t say that I’ve been busy. I have, but that’s not the most honest reason. Some of the reason could possibly be that I’ve been too tired. A large part of that is technically true and I really have been using the blissful downtime of winter to allow myself to rest and regroup. By “rest” I mean that I’m pretty much asleep as soon as I sit down in the evening. Not a whole lot of writing gets done when that happens. If I have to give the most honest answer, it’s because I just didn’t want to. Because the most honest answer involves the sharing of feelings, the revealing of my most authentic self, and that is something that I very rarely–if ever–do. For the past week, this story has come to my mind and I can’t shake it. After sleeping (or more accurately not sleeping) and praying on it, I finally accepted that I need to be obedient to God and provide this teeny tiny peek into my messed up mind. I envy those who can dance like no one’s watching. I am not that person. To fully go into the why and how would involve even more sharing and if it’s taken me fighting for this long just to throw this baby into the world, then prepare for more revelations somewhere around 2035…give or take. Some of my issues (and there are many) stem back for more than...
The Day the Alpaca Lifestyle Nearly Killed Me
WARNING: This post will deal with semi-graphic events of a farming nature which may include references to animal mating instincts, alpaca-on-alpaca violence, and fantasized violence towards an alpaca by a human. If you find this disturbing, join the club. Now that you are warned, you can decide for yourself whether or not you wish to proceed. Hey there. I know. It’s been awhile since my last update and I’m sorry. A lot has happened since my last post. There have been some pretty cool things. Sapphire and Fiona gave birth to a boy and a girl, respectively. Heidelberr Farms has two adorable little alpacas spronking around and causing adorable chaos. Oh, and then there’s also the little teensie issue where I posted this a few months ago but forgot to change the setting from private to public. Once you finish through to the end, you will see how this is not at all surprising. I digress. (Oh! If you could read this while pretending that it’s still October, I’d appreciate it. Cool, thanks.) In a rare turn of events, I was present for both births AND I caught both of them on video. Someday when I get some extra time and can figure out the editing software, I will post the videos. Someday. In between daily chores and random projects, each day is actually fairly predictable and kinda boring. Don’t get me wrong, I actually thrive on it. Now that I think about it, I probably should use the word pastoral instead of boring. Also, it’s peaceful. Yes, that’s it. You might not...
3 Surefire and 1 Unreliable Way to Tell if you have Fighting Alpacas
3 Surefire (and 1 Unreliable) Ways to Know if you have Fighting Alpacas If you have spent any time at all around animals, you understand that all is not always peaceful in the kingdom. You’ve probably heard well meaning people wish that people were more like animals so that the world would be a more peaceful place? Tripe. Tripe and lies. Now alpacas are great. As a species, they are fairly laid-back and peaceful. Alpacas aren’t inclined towards human aggression, although I always espouse caution when working with any animal, alpacas included. If you work with animals long enough, weird things happen. Occasionally, even the most patient and kind family dog or “bombproof” horse will have a bad day and someone will end up hurt. Inter-species aggression is common to many creatures and alpacas are no exception. Most cases of aggression occur between intact males. Sorry guys. I’m not hating on anyone here, but a consistent factor across creation is the fact that dudes have a tendency to fight. Back to alpacas. If you are seriously considering getting into alpacas then you need to make peace with the fact that if you have more than one male, they will probably get into a physical altercation at some point. Know this now and have a plan for how to address fighting when it occurs. If you have two easy-going boys, they may never get into an argument. I suppose it could happen. Fish gonna swim. Critters gonna fight. Most often fighting occurs between the male of the species, but not always....
Blame it on the Rain
In this case, it, can be just about anything. The lack of hay in our hay shed. The increased tempers of the boys that have spent too many days in close quarters. Hulk-sized mosquitos with Hulk-sized appetites. The fact that it has been too long since I’ve updated the blog. It’s all the rain’s fault. As you most likely know (I’m just assuming here that you either a.) already know me or b.) are related to me) we have been getting a boatload of rain. Lots-o-rain, to be specific. It’s quite ridiculous, actually. You’re probably thinking that a lot of rain is a good thing. I used to think so too. However, too much of any good thing usually ends badly. Except for chocolate. One can never have too much chocolate. The moral of the story, kids, is that the rain has delayed just about everything. Slogging through inches of water only served to double the time needed for daily chores. Things are slowly getting back to normal. The rivers and creek are back down to reasonable levels and the basement is slowly drying out. The garden is still squishy and the weeds have really benefitted from this time. Yay! I do have two happy updates. Okay, so maybe three. UPDATE #1: Elwood continues to improve. In our last episode, you will remember that Elwood had developed an icky-gooey abscess on his ear. He has shown tremendous improvement as you can see from this picture taken two weeks ago. UPDATE #2: Heidelberr Farms lives up to its name. I may have had to...
When Kinda-Bad Things Happen to Kinda-Bad Alpacas
It is a fact of life that, given enough time, things are going to happen. I would like to say that this is especially true on a farm, but I think that’s a bit of an overstatement. A farm is no more susceptible to bad things happening than any other place, whether the workplace or the homeplace. (A homeplace is a thing, right?) Anyway, back to bad things happening. I have come to accept that there will eventually be sickness, injury, loss, and death on the farm. After all, there is sickness, injury, loss, and death everywhere else. This is one of the consequences of living in a fallen world, this lovely blue marble of planet earth. Do you follow me so far? Good things happen. Bad things happen. ‘Tis all currency in the game of life. Now just because I know that injury will happen. And just because I am semi-okay and/or resigned to the fact that there is no escaping it forever, well, that doesn’t mean that I like it. Especially if it’s Elwood. A common theme running though my head at random times when, in my mind’s eye, I see the potential for damage is please don’t let it happen to Elwood. And then it happened to Elwood. He recently developed an abscess on his ear. He could have been bitten by some various insect. This year has been horrible for biting flies and other various bloodsuckers (political and non). Then again, Elwood’s temperament often lends him towards mischief with the other boys. He can be one to push and push and push until one of...
Here There Be Dragons
I nearly died yesterday. Now that the adrenaline has died down, and my hands have stopped shaking, I can finally tell you my story. It was a giant dinosaur. It was a rabid wolf. It was a screaming freight train. Fine, it was a broody hen. You happy now? Death-by-hen, while extremely cool-looking on a headstone, is a terrible way to go. Compounding the problem is the simple fact that I was heading off not one hen, but two. Yes, we have two co-mamas sharing a litter(?) of six chickies. Three chicks were naturally hatched and three incubator-hatched chicks were introduced to the Hens-of-Death (HOD) in a daring 3 a.m. ninja chicken raid. The past 21 days while the HOD’s were brooding their nest, and even in the day after the little hatchlings hatched, they were content to play a game of strict defense. Puff up. Growl a bit. Hunker down and protect the chicklets. Maybe it was adding to the team ranks. Maybe it was rabid dinosaur wolf DNA infused into the incubator chicks during incubation. Whatever it was, the game play of the HOD’s switched from defense to take-no-prisoners-burn-the-thatched-roofs-and-rip-out-their-faces offense. I assure you that there was much flapping, and thrashing, and screeching, and the HOD’s were also making a fair bit of commotion too. Oh sure, you can laugh now. But I can assure you, if you ever face the wrath of the HOD you will be screaming, flailing, and doing whatever it takes to survive too. Just be sure to stay away from the edges of the broody area. Here, there be...
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